A Thing That You Know: Developing New Skills

I just gave Spousal Unit a haircut. Not a big deal – I’ve been cutting Spousal Unit’s hair for about 18 years.

But, there was a time when I was intimidated by that task. I was hesitant to try, because I was afraid I’d screw it up. Not because I’m afraid to try new things, but because how one’s hair looks is a big deal to most people, and no one wants to live with an angry spouse while it’s growing back.

Even though Spousal Unit had suggested I try it, I avoided cutting Spousal Unit’s hair *until* the day Spousal Unit came home with a bad haircut, to put it baldly (see what I did there?). I looked at that haircut and thought, “I can’t do any worse than *that*!” And so I began cutting Spousal Unit’s hair.

Now, there weren’t any YouTube videos back then on how to cut hair. So I just went for it.

And by that, I mean I nervously trimmed away small amounts until we both agreed I had done enough. The first couple of haircuts were not stellar. But they weren’t as bad as “The Bad Haircut” that prompted me to try it myself. And after a rocky start, the haircuts got better and better. I don’t do anything fancy, but I get the job done.

Spousal Unit likes the convenience and the amount of money we have saved on haircuts over the years. There was a small initial outlay for scissors, etc., and we have replaced items a few times, but we have saved substantial amounts ($$$) over the nearly 20 years I have been cutting Spousal Unit’s hair.

And yet, there are many folks unwilling to try to learn how to do things themselves, especially cutting their significant other’s hair! In the frugal community, it’s often called “insourcing” labor/services, rather than “outsourcing” them. Older (*ahem*) folks often call it DIY (Doing It Yourself).

No one is good at something the very first time they try it – it takes practice to become as good as experienced folks.

Crew Dog, One Sick Vet

This reminds me of a time when we were out to dinner with another couple, and Spousal Unit and I were making short work of a pile of crab legs. The wife of the other couple asked me when I’d learn how to crack crab legs. I couldn’t remember, and I blithely said something to the effect of “I don’t know. It’s something I’ve always known.” But that’s not accurate.

Here’s what I wish I’d said: “I don’t remember when I learned how to crack crab legs. I obviously didn’t eat them when I was a child [because we were dirt poor, and ate things like Hamburger Helper]. Somewhere along the way, it’s a skill that I picked up. I’m sure I looked silly doing it at first. But now I do it with a level of skill that looks intimidating to you. And it’s become so easy for me that I can’t even remember when and how I first learned how to do it. But that shouldn’t stop you from trying. Because you’ll get better at it with practice. And pretty soon it’ll just be a thing that you know how to do.”

Doug Nordman shared with me recently that a technique that helped his daughter overcome apprehension about trying things/taking a new course of action (when she was younger) was to ask her “If you did that, what’s the worst thing that could possibly happen?” Once they troubleshot various courses of action, she was comfortable proceeding with her chosen one.

That’s basically what I did before I started cutting Spousal Unit’s hair. I asked myself (and Spousal Unit) what the worst outcome could be, and we agreed that the worst I could do was a bad haircut, and that the hair would, eventually, grow back. Spousal Unit was ok with that worst case scenario, even though it might mean sporting a bad haircut at work. After all, I couldn’t do any worse than “The Bad Haircut” Spousal Unit had received from a paid professional.

And so it began. If you asked Spousal Unit about it, you’d receive this reply: “Yeah, the first couple haircuts were a bit rough. They weren’t that great. But after those first few, they’ve been good ever since, and we’ve saved a lot of time and money.”

What is something you’d like to learn how to do, but may have been intimidated? Are there videos you can watch to learn skills and techniques? Or books you could check out from the library? Do you know someone skilled who could teach you? Or is it something you could learn how to do through trial-and-error? Why not start developing your DIY skills? Sooner than you think, whatever it is you wanted to learn will transform from something you were apprehensive to try into a thing that you know how to do.

P.S. – In case you were wondering, Spousal Unit eventually took the plunge and started cutting my hair too. That doesn’t happen on the regular, but Spousal Unit does a really good job (most of the time). So now cutting hair is a thing we both know how to do.