Tag: New Year's Resolution

New Year’s Resolution 2024

I got sick after Thanksgiving and I continue to run behind. Christmas Cards have hit a snag and not gone out (yet?). And I didn’t think I was going to make any New Year’s resolutions this year either. (I often don’t). But inspiration has arrived (a week late), so here is my 2024 New Year’s resolution:

I resolve to update my estate planning paperwork this year.

To begin with, my will is very out-of-date. I need to change the primary and secondary executors, and I probably need to change the secondary beneficiaries as well. While you should update your will with every major life change (marriage, divorce, children, etc.), it’s also a good idea to review your will periodically as other circumstances change. For example, if one of your executors or beneficiaries dies or becomes estranged from you. Or as your net worth grows. Maybe your designated beneficiary would not be capable of handling a larger inheritance, or would need assistance to do so. This Kiplinger’s article includes 12 reasons you should update your will, including a few I hadn’t even imagined (like losing the hardcopy of your will). In my case, no major life events have affected my will, but some minor ones have, and I wasn’t periodically reviewing my estate paperwork, so I didn’t notice that I would no longer be satisfied with the outcomes of my estate settlement as written.

I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s really important to stay on top of this paperwork. In the military, I saw death benefits distributed to ex-spouses rather than current spouses or children simply because the service member had not updated their paperwork. In my own life, I’ve seen what happens when someone dies with an outdated will or when the named executor for a couple has a conflict of interest. It’s painful to experience an estate being settled in ways that you know go against the deceased’s wishes at the time of their death. And it can even lead to legal battles or extended probate that can be very draining for the estate, the executor(s), and the loved ones. Do the work now so that your loved ones don’t have the hassle later. Do the work now so that the government doesn’t wind up with assets you could have avoided giving them. Do the work now so that your beneficiaries are provided for in the way you wish them to be. Whatever your motivation, use it to propel you into action.

While I’m at it, I’m also going to update my durable power of attorney and my advanced directive for healthcare. Interestingly, when I became eligible for VA healthcare, I was required to do separate advanced directive for healthcare paperwork with the VA – they would not accept the one I already had. The VA paperwork, however, did not need to be drafted by a lawyer or notarized. I simply filled it out at my VA healthcare facility. However, since each VA facility is different, I don’t know whether my current VA facility (in a different state) still has my advanced healthcare directive paperwork on file and whether they accept it. Even if they do, contact information for my designated healthcare representatives has changed. [So that’s a reminder for me to check with my current VA facility and ensure it’s squared away.] Also, now that more healthcare “paperwork” is online, many healthcare systems are requiring that you bring a copy of your directive to the facility to be entered into their online systems. So don’t assume that a loved one bringing a copy of your advanced directive while you’re in the hospital receiving care will be sufficient anymore – you may need to have gotten it accepted by the relevant healthcare system ahead of time.

We don’t carry life insurance as we have no income that needs to be replaced or children that need provided for, but if you do have life insurance, you would also want to periodically review it to make sure you have enough coverage for your current needs and to update beneficiaries as necessary.

If you are in the military or are an eligible veteran, you also should periodically check DEERS (the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System) to make sure your beneficiary information is up-to-date and correct. This includes the who, how, and where. Make sure the DoD knows who all of your beneficiaries are, how much you want to leave to each (percentages of benefits), and how to contact each of them. If you don’t review this data and make sure it’s current, this is how money winds up going to an ex-spouse or other beneficiary you no longer want your death benefits to go to.

Additionally, you should periodically review the beneficiaries on any investments that you have. Make sure your accounts have primary and secondary beneficiaries that reflect your current desires. IOW, make sure your money would go to the people you want it to go to. This often changes over time, so you can’t just “set it and forget it.” (Unless you don’t care what happens to your money after you’re gone.)

In summary, if you care what happens to your hard-earned money after you’re gone, you should review your estate planning paperwork periodically (and in conjunction with every major life event) to keep it up-to-date and make sure it reflects your desires as you progress through life and circumstances change.

Since I very much care what happens to my hard-earned money, in 2024 I resolve to:

  • Update my advanced medical directive/living will
  • Update my medical power of attorney
  • Update my VA advanced medical directive
  • Submit my updated advanced medical directive/living will to my healthcare system (specifically to the hospital ER I use when injured)
  • Update my will
  • Review the beneficiaries on my investment accounts and update as necessary
  • Make sure my designated executor knows where to find my updated estate paperwork

Does anyone else want to commit to updating their estate paperwork in 2024? Let me know in the comments – we can be accountability buddies.

Feeling Resolute

What can I say? After years of no New Year’s resolutions, this year I’m overflowing with them. Mostly because I seem to have gotten an energy bump this January, so I’m taking advantage of it.

This particular resolution, if that’s what you want to call it, is to spend no money in January. IOW, this January I am reigning in my discretionary spending. I tend to be perhaps a little too generous/spendy during the holidays, so I find being intentional about my spending in January helps me reset that spending mindset (which is strongly encouraged and reinforced by all the holiday marketing!).

I find that I get into a mindset of not being as critical of my spending during the holidays, and this helps me reset so that I stop and think before I spend. Plus, an uber frugal January helps offset the excesses of December and get my budget back on track.

Although I got the idea from Mrs. Frugalwood’s “January Uber Frugal Month Group Challenge,” I don’t participate in her groups when I do my January reset. For me, it’s enough to know that it’s January and I’m on a spending fast. However, if group support would be helpful for you, consider joining her group challenge next year. (I don’t know if this year’s groups are still open.)

I acknowledge that it’s a privilege to have discretionary income (money left over after paying bills, buying gas & groceries, etc.). And that it’s a privilege to be able to spend freely (however one defines that) during the holidays. When I was young, my family did not have that privilege, and I am grateful for it now.

So far, it’s January 10th and I haven’t spent any money. But I will be making my quarterly trip to the VA hospital for medical Botox injections later this month, and I plan to stop for Mexican food on the way home – my quarterly treat. (AKA, one “cheat day” from my spending fast.)

Otherwise, no restaurant meals this month. (Which we’re still getting to-go, because COVID.) We’ve got plenty of food in our pantry and freezer (also a privilege), and of course we can buy groceries as part of our normal monthly expenses. And no rationalizing other discretionary spending.

Hopefully after a month of resisting the urge to spend, I can break the holiday-inspired attitude of “I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it.” The January uber frugal money fast usually does the trick.

[This approach works for me because I am an abstainer, not a moderator. If you are a moderator, perhaps a different approach would work for you. Or perhaps you moderate your spending during the holidays and don’t need to get back on track after the holidays because you never got off-track.]

Do you splurge over the holidays? What techniques/tricks/hacks do you use to get your budget back on track in January? Or do you set a spending budget for November/December and stick to it? Please comment below.

2023 New Year’s Resolution

You probably don’t remember me saying that I don’t typically make New Year’s resolutions, but it’s true. I make maybe one a decade, and then I usually forget all about it.

But what the heck. I feel like making one this year, however futile it may be. This year I resolve to be less hard on myself.

I’m not the person I used to be. My physical limitations prevent me from doing the things I’d like to do – the things I used to do.

I’m no longer as organized, as squared away, as I used to be. And while I still aspire to continue downsizing until I have less stuff to wrangle, I also need to find a way to be okay with the clutter in the meantime.

My memory is shot to hell. I just don’t remember things. It’s alarming and discouraging, but I’m finding ways to deal with it. I try to do things as soon as I think of them, so I don’t forget. This means that I don’t necessarily do things in an orderly fashion any more. It’s more like I see something and remember what I meant to do, so I do it right then. Then I sit down and rest. Next time I get up and move around the house, I see something else I meant to do, and then I do that. No coherence, but at least I’m still getting things done.

I also don’t batch as many errands as I used to do. I just don’t have the executive function or the energy to deal with a long list of things to accomplish in town. So I do one or two as soon as I figure out what I need, and resign myself to the fact that I’ll have to do fewer things at a time and ultimately make more trips in order to get everything done.

One of things I did in the past year or two to help with my forgetfulness was to get a password manager. I resisted getting one for a long time, but I’m finding it very helpful and I’m glad I did it. [Although I got a family account, Spousal Unit *hates* using it. That’s fine. They don’t have to use it for their stuff, but at least they know where to go look for our joint passwords if it’s an account I set up and I can’t remember the password.]

I also created a morning checklist and an evening checklist to help me remember to take my meds and do health and hygiene tasks, but I need to get into a daily practice of using them. I also should probably get a whiteboard calendar and start logging doctors appointments and such where Spousal Unit and I can both see them and keep track of them.

I hate chaos. I hate disorder. I hate clutter and untidiness. And I intend to keep working to bring order to the chaos that is our small house still overflowing with items from our larger previous house.

But, in the meantime, and from now on, I resolve to be less hard on myself about it. I am no longer the person I used to be. I cannot continue to hold myself to standards I can no longer meet. It accomplishes nothing aside from making me feel bad about myself and my situation.

I can continue to learn, to discover new hacks and accommodations that help me deal with my limitations. I can implement these techniques and use these aids. But I can also give myself grace. I can accept that I am no longer the person I was. Accept that I can no longer do the things I used to do, in the ways I used to do them.

People like to argue that anything is possible if you just believe and try hard enough. “You just need the right attitude!,” these people like to say. In the chronic illness/disability community, this is known as “toxic positivity.” The truth is, you can’t necessarily change reality through hope and hard work. Especially if you’re from a marginalized community.

I can’t become healthy and abled from wishing it so – I know, I’ve tried for years. I can’t become healthy and abled through eating right, exercising, or taking the right supplements – I’ve tried that for years too. But the toxic positivity people are right about one thing – I *can* control my attitude.

So I choose to give myself grace for my circumstances and my state of being.

Rather than chasing a pipe dream of restored health, I choose to pursue adaptation to my current health. I choose to pursue acceptance, to seek a zen-like acceptance of my reality. I choose to walk the path of the Serenity Prayer: To accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can, and to be able to tell the difference.

That is my resolution for 2023.