So, what happened? I continued to get more ill, more incapacitated the longer I lived in the Rockies – even though I had successfully lived there previously. This time my body simply was.not.having.it.
Despite my best efforts, I was unable to obtain a diagnosis, let alone a successful treatment. I reached the point where I was no longer living – I was merely existing. I spent my days online if I had enough mental capacity or watching TV if I did not. I only left the house for doctor’s appointments, and I couldn’t tolerate most visitors to my house due to my allergies.
After years of struggling to get better, I finally accepted that I probably never will. I am chronically ill and disabled, and my life has radically changed. This is my “new normal.”
And so I asked myself, “Assuming that I will not be able to complete my academic degree and that I may never be able to work outside the home again, how do I want to live what is left of my life?” I heard my sister-in-law’s voice, asking the question she often asks her children: “What would make your heart happy?”
And although my answer was frequently, “I want to finish my degree and complete the plans I made,” eventually a different dream emerged. If I could no longer pursue my previous goals, then I wanted to skip ahead to the dreams I had for “someday.” Eventually – once I had worked long enough, once I had done enough to contribute to society – I wanted to live someplace warm, someplace where I could swim and snorkel and scuba dive whenever I wanted.
And so Spousal Unit and I have uprooted our lives once again. We have sold our dream home in the Rockies and moved to the beach.
I plan to blog about all of this in 2019: coming to terms with a chronic illness; moving while chronically ill; survival minimalism; personal finance and chronic illness; and learning to live life on my own terms and according to my own definition of success. And, of course, I will continue to blog about heath and wellness.
Thanks for reading my blog. Thanks for coming along on my journey. I look forward to what 2019 will bring.
